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ThePlayroom
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What Are Some Of The Pros & Cons Of Being in A Relationship With Someone With Sickle Cell?

 

What Are Some Of The Core Issues That Should Be Addressed As A Sickler in A Relationship?

 

What Are Some Of The Issues That Should Be Addressed When Two Sicklers Are Dating One Another?


What Are Your Thoughts on Having Children?

August 28, 2013 at 7:47 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Diamond Ray
Member
Posts: 14

How's it going everyone, I'm Diamond Ray, your host for the evening theres no limit on how far the conversation goes as long as we keep it clean as far as language is involved, no topic is off limits including the topic of "Sickle Sex" we've posted some questions just to get the conversation started thanks for joining the conversation and i look forward to a good informative night

August 28, 2013 at 8:13 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Diamond Ray
Member
Posts: 14

Ok, so what sparked this conversation is the fact i'm in a newly formed relationship with an amazing woman, who happens to have sickle cell and I am just as happy as can be but i know the struggles of having sickle cell but now i have to deal with taking care of someone. On the bright side she understands me and I her and the fact we both have Sickle Cell has strenthened our bond and i know what to do if she gets sick and vice versa the only thing i can see as a negative is that our child, if we chose to naturally reproduce, would definitely have Sickle Cell. what are your thoughts on the situation of being together, having children and are you aware of the alternatives to having children?

August 28, 2013 at 8:21 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Jew_ELstar06
Member
Posts: 9
I think the pros of being in a relationship with someone that has SC is you don't have to explain what your feelings and emotions are when your in the hospital they understand what it's like to be in that much pain they kno what it's like to be on the pain medicine they understand that it's not always the partner that's the problem as with dating someone that doesn't know what it's like to live the hospital life they can be clueless when it comes to being in pain the attitudes the stress of docs & nurses and they can lack empathy of someone that has health challenges
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Jew-EL
August 28, 2013 at 8:21 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Diamond Ray
Member
Posts: 14

Jew_ELstar06 at August 28, 2013 at 8:21 PM

I think the pros of being in a relationship with someone that has SC is you don't have to explain what your feelings and emotions are when your in the hospital they understand what it's like to be in that much pain they kno what it's like to be on the pain medicine they understand that it's not always the partner that's the problem as with dating someone that doesn't know what it's like to live the hospital life they can be clueless when it comes to being in pain the attitudes the stress of docs & nurses and they can lack empathy of someone that has health challenges

what can we do to make sure our partners who aren't aware of the struggles of sickle cell are more informed and more prepared to come into the relationship.


I think talking about it the most and really just having an in depth conversation of everything you have to deal with and how it makes you feel makes it easier to understand and it will almost always pull you closer but it may drive them away, in which case they were'nt right for you anyway, we need somebody strong to be with us.

August 28, 2013 at 8:29 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Jew_ELstar06
Member
Posts: 9
I believe of other ways to have children having a surrogate adoption invetro but I'm the type that isn't sure if I really want to have children or not I too am in a beautiful relationship with someone that has SC and it takes so much stress off of the relationship because I don't have to explain every little thing that I go thru like I would have to do when I was with someone that was perfectly healthy in the past and his opinion is that what better people would be equipped for the job to raise a child with SC other than two parents that have SC. I don't agree with this method but again I'm not going to sacrifice me being happy & in love all because He has SC to me that's like someone saying oh no I can't date you because your white or because your Spanish its not something that they can help. We never liked it when someone would say oh I can't be with you because I can't handle you having SC so why would we do the exact same thing to others that we hated being done to us
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Jew-EL
August 28, 2013 at 8:32 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Diamond Ray
Member
Posts: 14

Jew_ELstar06 at August 28, 2013 at 8:32 PM

I believe of other ways to have children having a surrogate adoption invetro but I'm the type that isn't sure if I really want to have children or not I too am in a beautiful relationship with someone that has SC and it takes so much stress off of the relationship because I don't have to explain every little thing that I go thru like I would have to do when I was with someone that was perfectly healthy in the past and his opinion is that what better people would be equipped for the job to raise a child with SC other than two parents that have SC. I don't agree with this method but again I'm not going to sacrifice me being happy & in love all because He has SC to me that's like someone saying oh no I can't date you because your white or because your Spanish its not something that they can help. We never liked it when someone would say oh I can't be with you because I can't handle you having SC so why would we do the exact same thing to others that we hated being done to us

i'm glad you know some alternatives, and i agree with your point of understandingone another, as far as having children, is it that you don't want to have children at all or just not with sickle cell? i also agree with his point of being sickle cell parents, thats the same point i bring to the relationship, who better to take care of you and be with then someone who personally knows the struggles you deal with.

August 28, 2013 at 8:37 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Jew_ELstar06
Member
Posts: 9
Yes preparing someone for the rocky waters ahead u have to have a lot of in depth discussions about your health your triggers what effect the meds have on you what happens mentally & emotionally when you get sick just covering and uncovering every stone that you may come across in your relationship and telling them it isn't going to be easy being very upfront with them and allowing them to step up or step out if they need to because they don't think they can handle it
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Jew-EL
August 28, 2013 at 8:37 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Jew_ELstar06
Member
Posts: 9
I really don't want to have children at all to be honest I don't think I can be sick myself and then also take care of a child at the same time that's why I think that mothers that have SC are the strongest women ever because that has to be super tough
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Jew-EL
August 28, 2013 at 8:40 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ameen
Member
Posts: 2

Being in a relationship with someone who has sickle cell some pros would include mutual understanding & support. The cons however, out weight the pros and that's cool it's called a relationship for a reason; you will have to put in work. Eventually, the good will out weight the bad. Some cons will be or at least I think will be the topic of having childern, the time where we as "Sicklers" wanna be alone and your significant other maynot be feeling what your feeling and then there's a lack of understanding because the support isn't there.Some core issues I think that's most important to me because I am a family man would be having childern. As a sickler, we know or (at least I hope we do )the precentages of passing on what we carry to our kids. Two sicklers dating one another I feel should be easy just as long as both understand their disease. I mean the support, mutual understanding & then if it goes as far as reproducing then they'll have to decide if they want to take that risk. Yet, in my opinion, I feel that dating somebody with the disease can be done because of the mutual understanding. I've done it for 3 years on and off. I understand the risk of reproducing w/ her and whatnot, I've even thought about adoption. I was told that I shouldn't reproduce & that I won't be able to ever because at the age of 15 I experienced Priapism. Honestly though that won't stop me when I'm ready for kid(s) Imma have them. Heck, the doctors were wrong so many times those are my thoughts on having childern and this whole fourm.

August 28, 2013 at 8:43 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Jew_ELstar06
Member
Posts: 9
I have a question about having sickle sex guys have u been thrown into a crisis because you were too over zealous in the bedroom??
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Jew-EL
August 28, 2013 at 8:45 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Diamond Ray
Member
Posts: 14

Jew_ELstar06 at August 28, 2013 at 8:37 PM

Yes preparing someone for the rocky waters ahead u have to have a lot of in depth discussions about your health your triggers what effect the meds have on you what happens mentally & emotionally when you get sick just covering and uncovering every stone that you may come across in your relationship and telling them it isn't going to be easy being very upfront with them and allowing them to step up or step out if they need to because they don't think they can handle it

and to reiterate what you said, you just should be tottally up front with them and accept the out come if they need to leave cause they aren't ready for the total commitment then they have that option.


August 28, 2013 at 8:46 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Jew_ELstar06
Member
Posts: 9
I disagree that the cons outweigh the pros when dating someone with SC
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Jew-EL
August 28, 2013 at 8:48 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Diamond Ray
Member
Posts: 14

Jew_ELstar06 at August 28, 2013 at 8:45 PM

I have a question about having sickle sex guys have u been thrown into a crisis because you were too over zealous in the bedroom??

ha ha not over zealous, but because of the temperature of the room not even the heat of sex could keep my back from hurting, luckily we were already wrapping up, but in that sistuation you have to make sure your with someone you trust to know what to do, that the reason i don't sleep around cause you never know what could happen with your body.

August 28, 2013 at 8:49 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Diamond Ray
Member
Posts: 14

Jew_ELstar06 at August 28, 2013 at 8:48 PM

I disagree that the cons outweigh the pros when dating someone with SC

please share

August 28, 2013 at 8:49 PM Flag Quote & Reply

AJdub3
Member
Posts: 4

Has anybody been ia relationship with someone who doesnt have Sickle Cell and had no clue what it it? Im sure this is something that we all think about when it comes to dating [I know i do]. I havent really thought about dating anyone because, as a guy, I feel that I would be too much of a liability on a woman.Ive talked to some of the women in my life about it. What do you guys think?

August 28, 2013 at 8:53 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Diamond Ray
Member
Posts: 14

Ameen at August 28, 2013 at 8:43 PM

Being in a relationship with someone who has sickle cell some pros would include mutual understanding & support. The cons however, out weight the pros and that's cool it's called a relationship for a reason; you will have to put in work. Eventually, the good will out weight the bad. Some cons will be or at least I think will be the topic of having childern, the time where we as "Sicklers" wanna be alone and your significant other maynot be feeling what your feeling and then there's a lack of understanding because the support isn't there.Some core issues I think that's most important to me because I am a family man would be having childern. As a sickler, we know or (at least I hope we do )the precentages of passing on what we carry to our kids. Two sicklers dating one another I feel should be easy just as long as both understand their disease. I mean the support, mutual understanding & then if it goes as far as reproducing then they'll have to decide if they want to take that risk. Yet, in my opinion, I feel that dating somebody with the disease can be done because of the mutual understanding. I've done it for 3 years on and off. I understand the risk of reproducing w/ her and whatnot, I've even thought about adoption. I was told that I shouldn't reproduce & that I won't be able to ever because at the age of 15 I experienced Priapism. Honestly though that won't stop me when I'm ready for kid(s) Imma have them. Heck, the doctors were wrong so many times those are my thoughts on having childern and this whole fourm.

i agree with your point in saying that you just have a mutual understanding between one another, that my main pro, as far as Priaprism goes i've  experienced it as well and to my understrand you still produce semen so why wouldn't you be able to have children?

August 28, 2013 at 8:55 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Diamond Ray
Member
Posts: 14

AJdub3 at August 28, 2013 at 8:53 PM

Has anybody been ia relationship with someone who doesnt have Sickle Cell and had no clue what it it? Im sure this is something that we all think about when it comes to dating [I know i do]. I havent really thought about dating anyone because, as a guy, I feel that I would be too much of a liability on a woman.Ive talked to some of the women in my life about it. What do you guys think?

yes, I was in a relation with some one for three years and at first they had no clue until i got sick and we were forced to talk about it, thats a main issue that comes up which also provokes this question "


when is the best time to tell your significant other about your disease and how should you tell them?

August 28, 2013 at 8:58 PM Flag Quote & Reply

AJdub3
Member
Posts: 4

Diamond Ray at August 28, 2013 at 8:58 PM

AJdub3 at August 28, 2013 at 8:53 PM

Has anybody been ia relationship with someone who doesnt have Sickle Cell and had no clue what it it? Im sure this is something that we all think about when it comes to dating [I know i do]. I havent really thought about dating anyone because, as a guy, I feel that I would be too much of a liability on a woman.Ive talked to some of the women in my life about it. What do you guys think?

yes, I was in a relation with some one for three years and at first they had no clue until i got sick and we were forced to talk about it, thats a main issue that comes up which also provokes this question "


when is the best time to tell your significant other about your disease and how should you tell them?

Yeah thats a good question. I Usually let them know all about it before we even start talking. I dont believe you should wait until because in a relationship everything should be open and on the table. Thats my opinion, but i digress.

August 28, 2013 at 9:04 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Ameen
Member
Posts: 2

Diamond Ray at August 28, 2013 at 8:55 PM

Ameen at August 28, 2013 at 8:43 PM

Being in a relationship with someone who has sickle cell some pros would include mutual understanding & support. The cons however, out weight the pros and that's cool it's called a relationship for a reason; you will have to put in work. Eventually, the good will out weight the bad. Some cons will be or at least I think will be the topic of having childern, the time where we as "Sicklers" wanna be alone and your significant other maynot be feeling what your feeling and then there's a lack of understanding because the support isn't there.Some core issues I think that's most important to me because I am a family man would be having childern. As a sickler, we know or (at least I hope we do )the precentages of passing on what we carry to our kids. Two sicklers dating one another I feel should be easy just as long as both understand their disease. I mean the support, mutual understanding & then if it goes as far as reproducing then they'll have to decide if they want to take that risk. Yet, in my opinion, I feel that dating somebody with the disease can be done because of the mutual understanding. I've done it for 3 years on and off. I understand the risk of reproducing w/ her and whatnot, I've even thought about adoption. I was told that I shouldn't reproduce & that I won't be able to ever because at the age of 15 I experienced Priapism. Honestly though that won't stop me when I'm ready for kid(s) Imma have them. Heck, the doctors were wrong so many times those are my thoughts on having childern and this whole fourm.

i agree with your point in saying that you just have a mutual understanding between one another, that my main pro, as far as Priaprism goes i've  experienced it as well and to my understrand you still produce semen so why wouldn't you be able to have children?

The doctors I've seen when I experienced it said that which I didn't believe they knew what they were talking about it anyway. That's why I said when I'm ready I'll have them.

August 28, 2013 at 9:08 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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